What is Choice paralysis?
You may have also heard this called Analysis Paralysis or Decision Paralysis (it’s different from Decision Fatigue, but we’ll come back to that in the next blog!). Choice Paralysis is when you’re faced with a decision and feel so incredibly overwhelmed with all the possible options that you feel stuck. Overthinking every potential outcome or scenario. Completely unable to make a decision.
It could be a big life changing decision, like whether or not to accept a job promotion. It could be a medium decision, like what to get a friend for their birthday. Or it can even be smaller day-to-day decisions like where to go grab lunch from. Regardless of how big or small the decision it, the anxiety and overwhelm about it feel so immense that you become paralyzed.
Why do I get overwhelmed with simple decisions?
Any decision, regardless of how complex or simple means there will be an outcome. And whether or not that outcome is “good” or “bad”, “positive” or “negative” is completely subjective, which means you might feel differently about it than someone else. The possibility and risk of a “bad” outcome from a decision that is up to you can create a lot of anxiety and overwhelm, especially if you’re someone who already experiences a lot of overthinking and perfectionism.
When we’re faced with a decision and anxiety ramps up beyond a level that is “helpful”, it intensifies worries about possible outcomes of each option. You’re anxiety might lead you to think:
What if I accept the job promotion and I can’t handle the responsibility, or I can but I absolutely hate it? What if I decline the promotion and then they think I don’t want to move up and never offer me another promotion ever again?!
If I get this bracelet for my friend’s birthday, what if she doesn’t like it? What if it makes her think I don’t really know her or pay attention to what she likes? And what if it means she will think less of me and maybe pull away from me?!
Tacos sound good for lunch. But they can be messy and I don’t want the new coworker to judge me if she’s there too. A burger could also be good…but then I’ll probably want to crash during the 2 o’clock meeting later. Shoot. Salad? Eh. What did I have last week? What are we eating for dinner this week? Did I get everything I needed for those recipes yesterday at the store? ….and down the thought spiral your brain goes until now there’s also a time crunch to get something to eat!
While your anxiety has good intentions of trying to help you think through or plan for all possible outcomes, the inability to know exactly what will happen in the future makes it impossible to guarantee the right answer. And so the paralysis sets in.
What is choice paralysis a symptom of?
For many people choice paralysis is related to anxiety, but can be connected to other mental health conditions. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I feel anxious?” or find yourself getting stuck in swirls of “what if…what if…what if…?” thoughts, then you may be experiencing anxiety. Anxiety is an emotion that relates to fear, worry, nervousness, uneasiness, overwhelm, shock, dread, panic, and many others. It’s generally meant to be a way of our mind and body letting us know something could be threatening our well-being, health, or safety.
Choice paralysis can also show up in executive dysfunction related to ADHD, a trauma response, or depression. Some of these may include some underlying anxiety as well, but sometimes they can bring on the paralysis all by themselves. If you’re notice regular choice paralysis and wonder if you may have an underlying mental health concern, a therapist can help! If you’re experiencing choice paralysis and anxiety in North Carolina, South Carolina, or Illinois than Mindfully Balanced Therapy can help you!
How do you get out of choice paralysis?
Now that you know what it is and why it happens, let’s talk about some ways you can break free from it! Here are 5 things you can do to get out of choice paralysis:
Narrow down the options
One of the biggest challenges with choice paralysis is the sometimes endless amount of options on the table. And when you get stuck, your brain just keeps coming up with more and more rather than choosing one. Narrowing the options allows your brain to focus more on the specifics of each option rather than getting swept back into brain-storming mode.
Set a time limit
Some decisions have a time limit or deadline already set, such as if you have to let your boss know by the end of the day Friday if you’re accepting the promotion or not. But sometimes you have to set the time limit yourself. This helps for 2 reasons:
Sometimes people feel they “work well under pressure” and find it easier to make decisions when they feel the time crunch. Setting a deadline, even if it’s self-imposed helps to make sure the process moves along.
The deadline means that the moment will come sooner where you can give yourself permission to be “done” with the decision and perhaps feel some relief because the decision box has been “checked off” the to-do list.
Limit crowd sourciNg
When you have choice paralysis, it can be tempting to turn to others for help in deciding, asking them to just choose for you! But the more people you ask, the more different kinds of opinions you’ll get and you may end up with an even more overwhelming range of choices!
Get proactive with short-lists
Some decisions we encounter choice paralysis with are repetitive. You may notice this when your partner asks you where you want take-out from for dinner tonight and your brain completely blanks on any restaurant that exists in a 50 mile radius! But you know on the night you have to cook something that takes a while to make, you can easily name off what kind of burger/pizza/sub sandwich/sushi/taco you want.
For repetitive decisions like this, having a list of go-to options handy can help with decision making. It taps into #1 from this list in that it narrows down the options, but you’ve narrowed it down ahead of time and can save that brain power in the moment! You can have multiple short-lists for different things, such as: where to grab to-go dinner from on your way home from work, places to meet a friend who wants to catch up, or options for screen-free activities to do with your family on the weekend.
Practice decision making to bring mindfulness and confidence to it
The more you do it, the more confident you get! I know, it’s easier said than done BUT it’s true. When you find yourself having to make decisions, even if it’s what color post-it to use today or which flavor of coffee pod to make, take a moment afterwards to give a mental high-five to yourself for making the decision, and consider how you knew which was the best things for you in the moment. Even if it was just “I felt like it!”, that still counts!
Therapy for anxiety CAN HELP CHOICE PARALYSIS
Still feeling stuck in choice paralysis, or wanting to not feel as anxious as often? Working with a therapist can help you better understand what is fueling your anxiety and overthinking, and give you strategies and techniques for managing it in a more helpful way.
Kimberleigh can help! To begin anxiety therapy with Mindfully Balanced Therapy:
Schedule a consult call with Kimberleigh or fill out a contact form on our website.
Meet with Kimberleigh to talk about how anxiety and choice paralysis are currently making life feel difficult and overwhelming, and learn about how Mindfully Balanced Therapy can help you overcome overthinking.
Feel more confident in making decisions and free from choice paralysis!
