Why people tell you to take a deep breath

Have you ever been feeling overwhelmed, flustered, wondering “why do I feel anxious”, and someone turns to you and says “just take a deep breath!”

In the moment, it may not feel like what you want to hear, but there is a reason that common response comes up so much. It comes down to how the mind and body communicate. They’re always talking to each other, sending messages to keep your whole body and brain in sync.

Can anxiety make you feel like you can't breathe?

When something overwhelming happens, it’s usually the thinking brain telling the body that something is wrong and it needs to get ready. When you’re an overthinker who makes 6 back-up plans for the back-up plan, or a someone with imposter syndrome who’s worried about all the things your colleagues may have noticed in yesterday’s meeting, anxiety ramps up. Cue the flight vs. flight response. This is your sympathetic nervous system taking over. It increases your heart rate and blood pressure, stops digestion so the body’s energy can go to your more vital organs in the moment, and shifts your breathing to the top part of your lungs which also leads you to breathe faster.

How does breathing help anxiety?

When you take a deep breath, you expand your diaphragm (the tissue that separates your chest from your gut) and it sends messages back through the nervous system that it’s okay. It begins to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest response) which slows things down. It tells your brain that you’re safe and it no longer has to be ready to go at a moment’s notice. While there are several ways you can activate this response, deep breathing is one of the most effective methods. And because it doesn’t require any other supplies, you can use it in a moment’s notice!

What is the proper way to take a deep breath?

The best way to get a deep breath is to slowly breathe in through your nose (this warms the air before it makes it to your esophagus), focusing on filling your lungs from the bottom up. When your lungs are completely full, purse your lips like you’re blowing on a cup of hot coffee or tea, and slowly breathe out. The slower the better, but not so slow that your body thinks you’re not getting enough air in. 

What is the most effective breathing exercise?

Belly breathing is the most effective breathing technique. It’s when you focus on breathing with all the parts of your lungs, rather than just the top parts you may be using when you’re anxious. To do this, start by placing one hand on your belly and the other hand on your chest. Inhale through your nose and imagine filling up a balloon in your belly, noticing how the hand on your belly moves out as the balloon fills up. When the balloon feels full, inhale into your chest space, feeling the hand on your chest lifting up. Pause for just a brief moment at the top of the breath. Exhale by first emptying your chest and feeling that hand lower back down. Then empty your belly, feeling that hand come back in as your belly pushes all the air back out.

5 breathing exercises for when you’re feeling anxious

Here are 5 easy breathing exercises you can use when you’re feeling anxious to slow down your breathing and activate your parasympathetic (rest & digest) nervous system. All of these breathing exercises utilize belly breathing (mentioned above) in different ways and inhaling through your nose.

Most are recommended to exhale through your mouth, except the bee breath which utilizes a closed mouth.

Square breathing

Draw a square on a piece of paper in front of you. Put your pen at the bottom left corner of the square. As you inhale, count to 4 and trace up the left side of the square. Hold your breath as you count to 4 and trace along the top side. As you exhale, trace down the right side as you count to 4. Hold your breath as you count to 4 and trace along the bottom side. Repeat. 

The goal here is to slow your breath down by using pauses at the top and bottom, and equaling out the breath.

Paced breathing

This method is similar to the square breathing technique, but follows more of a trapezoid shape. For this, you will be focusing on extending your exhale to be longer than your inhale, as this will help your body in slowing down your heart rate and other internal processes. Draw a trapezoid on a piece of paper in front of you with the long side at the bottom. Put your pen at the top left corner of the trapezoid. As you inhale, count to 4 and trace across the top of the trapazoid. Hold your breath as you count to 2 and trace down the right side. As you exhale, count to 6 and trace across the bottom, the longest side. Hold your breath as you count to 2 and trace up the left side. Repeat. 

You can adjust the numbers for each side, as long as the exhale stays longer than any other side. Again, you want to extend the breath, but not so long that your body thinks it’s not getting necessary air.

Bee-breath

Open your hands in front of your face, palms facing in towards you. Place your thumbs over your ears, gently plugging them closed. You can choose to close your eyes and rest your fingers over your eyes like a blanket, or keep your eyes open and rest your fingers along the sides of your forehead. Closing and covering your eyes helps this exercise to work more effectively, but you can still use it even if you prefer to keep your eyes open!

Inhale a deep belly breath. As you exhale, keep your mouth closed and make a humming sound, similar to what a buzzing bee may sound like. Continue the hum until your lungs are completely empty. Repeat.

The goal here is to notice the vibration in your body and how this supports activating that parasympathetic nervous system. By plugging your ears and closing your eyes, you also limit other distracting senses and support the body in focusing more of it’s energy on this sensation and activation.

3 part breathing

This exercise focuses on breathing with your entire lung. Your left lung has 2 lobes and your right lung has 3 lobes. For this exercise, you’ll think about the 3 lobes of your right lung. Inhale into your belly, feeling your belly expand like a balloon and filling the first lobe. When it’s full, inhale into your ribcage, feeling your ribs expand out and filling the second lobe. When it’s full, inhale into your chest, feeling your chest and collar bones lift up, filling the top lobe. Pause at the top. Exhale emptying out the top lobe first and feeling your chest lower down. When it’s empty, exhale and empty out your ribcage, feeling your ribs contract in. When it’s empty, exhale and empty out your belly until all the air is out. Repeat. Inhale to fill up your belly, then ribs, then chest. Exhale to empty your chest, then ribs, then belly.

The goal of this exercise is to bring mindful awareness to the different parts of your lungs, and to help you feel more present in your body when you’re breathing. It’s normal if it’s hard to feel the 2nd lobe/ribs as first, just keep practicing!

Alternate nostril breathing

Take one hand and place your index and middle fingers on your forehead between your eyebrows, resting your thumb and ring finger on your nostrils. Inhale a deep belly breath. Gently close your nostril with your thumb, exhale through the open side, pause, and inhale in through the same nostril. At the top of the breath, lift your thumb to open the nostril and gently close the other side with your ring finger. Exhale, and inhale again through that side. At the top of the breath, lift your ring finger to open the nostril and gently close the other side with your thumb. Repeat this going back and forth.

Need more support?

If you feel overwhelmed from worry thoughts often and would like support in learning and applying breathing techniques along with other therapeutic tools, Kimberleigh can help!

Holistic therapy with Mindfully Balanced Therapy offers you several approaches that goes beyond traditional talk therapy. While there is still plenty of talking in the sessions themselves, holistic approaches such as mindfulness, yoga, tarot, EFT tapping are also incorporated into online therapy for overthinkers and perfectionists.

Schedule a call with Kimberleigh today to learn more about how breathing and other holistic practices can help you overcome overthinking and break free from anxiety!